A Hustler's Wife Read online

  Yarni saw Rallo as she was on her way to check on Stephanie who was sitting at the table. Rallo looked her up and down and rolled his eyes. The nerve of him! He acts just like a little girl rolling his eyes. Just for that watch this move I'm about to make on him. Gonna fuck his head up. Just watch and see.

  Yarni approached Rallo. Ummp, she sho is looking good, ass is still fat as ever. Looks like she's still maintaining. Somebody gotta be taking care of her. Wonder who she messing wit now?

  Rallo couldn't keep from smiling as he realized she was stopping right in front of him.

  "What you coming over here for? To ask me for a drink?" Rallo said.

  "Pleeasse, Rallo," Yarni said with a little giggle. "It's funny you should say that." Rallo had a grin on his face. Oh, she see a nigga getting money again. She done caught the vapors. I'm gonna try my hand wit her. Let me see what she drinking. I'll buy her a drink just to show her I'm the bigger person.

  "Rallo, the reason why I came over here, is because I don't want war with you anymore. I want peace. I am throwing in my towel." Yarni said as apologetic as she knew how.

  "Yeah, right." Smiling, but still trying to give her a hard time.

  "When has Yarnise Pitman ever thrown in the towel?"

  "Rallo, I am dead serious." Yarni throws up her hands. "I surrender." Rallo nods his head and continues to smile. "And to show you that I harbor no ill feelings, drinks are on me tonight!" Oh hell, she really trying to get on a nigga's good side. She got mad game, but I got just as much... oh, I'm going to get pissy drunk at the expense of this gold-diggin bitch, Rallo thought to himself.

  "So, what you drinking, Rallo?" Yarni asked. He held up his cup and said "Henney and Coke."

  "Look, I gotta run to my car to get some more money because I know it's going to cost me. You going to straight try to drink like a fish, but by the time I get from my car, you should be finished with that one" Yarni pointed to the glass he already had in his hand. "And I'll bring over your drink, O.K?" She said as humble as she knew how. Rallo shook his head.

  "Don't try to leave cuz, a promise is a promise."

  "Yo, I got you, Rallo. That's my word. I got you, baby," she said as she was walking away. She glanced back over. He was looking at her butt. She smiled, waved a cute sexy wave to him, and really put the seductive walk on as she exited the club. She hesitated for a minute, should I? Then she thought again, "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," and she ran as fast as she could in her Charles Jordan stiletto ankle boots across the street to the Racetrack service station. She hurried back to the club and rushed over to the bar. She ordered Rallo's Hennessey and Coke, and a plain coke for herself. She had decided not to drink tonight. She had to be sober to execute her plan that she expected to go down in about an hour and a half or so.

  On the way over to Rallo, she dropped two Exlax tablets in his drink. She was almost sure that the breakdown of the alcohol would dissolve the Exlax. She read the ingredients on the back of the box while standing in line at Racetrack. She had also remembered this from one of her chemistry classes. She handed him the drink. He drank the drink straight while she stood there.

  He handed her the glass back and said, "Next, please." Smiling.

  This was easier than I thought. Better believe I am glad I paid attention in Chemistry.

  Yarni walked away, back over to the bar. She returned with two Hennessey and Cokes this time, which each contained two more exlax tablets.

  "Rallo, I'll be back in a few with your next round, so hold tight. I need to go check on my girls, and then I'm going to hit the bar for you again."

  "No problem, baby, just keep 'em coming." He raised his glass up and drank the first one straight down. Yarni walked away.

  As Yarni made her way back through the smoke filled club, someone grabbed her hand, squeezed it tight, and pulled her over to them. When she looked, it was Rich with the same print and color Coogi sweater as her dress. His friend joked, "Ooh, they got his and her matching outfits." They both laughed. Just as they laughed, the picture man approached them as he was walking around the club snapping pictures. He totally caught Yarni off guard. Yarni secretly was glad to see Rich, but the timing was wrong, due to the fact she was on a mission and couldn't be sidetracked. This was the revenge she had been waiting on for years.

  "Let me get another one," Rich said to the picture man. They both smiled. Rich gave that photo to Yarni.

  "Look, I don't usually pick up women at the club, but I want to take you and your girls to breakfast after this is over."

  "No, I don't want to break your clubbing habits. If you haven't been picking up women at the club, please don't start now on my account." Yarni walked away, and made her way through the crowd back to the bar getting Rallo two more Hennessey and Cokes mixed with Exlax, and headed back to her table.

  "Where have you been?" asked Stephanie

  "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I decided to sponsor Rallo's drinks tonight. So, I had to go get him a round," Yarni smiled.

  "What?" Stephanie said, "Have you lost your damn mind?"

  "It's not what you think, Steph," she whispered to Steph.

  "Don't you know the one who laughs last, laughs the longest?" Yarni got up and walked away as she smiled at Stephanie.

  "I know she is not thinking about back tracking to Rallo" Steph shook her head in disgust.

  "She just probably going to juice him for some quick cash.

  You know he's always been a sucker for Yarni," Cara said with her arms folded.

  "Yeah, I know that's right," Steph said, as they laughed.

  Yarni took Rallo two more drinks she could tell he was feeling the alcohol. She walked back over to her table. She looked at her watch and laughed to herself. She knew the show was about to begin. "Yall let's stand over there."

  "Why? So, we can get a good view of Rallo?" Cara asked while winking her eye and smiling as if Yarni really wanted to watch Rallo.

  They slid their way through the musty crowd. She looked at Rallo talking to a girl, whom looked like she was wearing a 34DD with a flat butt. They made eye contact as he lifted his drink up and smiled. He was sure Yarni wanted him. He was only talking to the various girls to make her jealous.

  Yarni smiled back at him, and right then, she saw the look on his face. A sharp cramp hit him and he grabbed his stomach. He walked off quickly, leaving Ms. 34DD standing right there. He was holding his stomach while trying to squeeze his butt tight, while walking with his legs tightly putting one leg in front of the other. He approached the long restroom line. He couldn't hold it any longer. He screamed out as he rushed to the front of the line. "It's an emergency!" He was as wild as a bull in a china shop. He barged into a stall, pulling out some Steve Erkyl looking guy with his pants down. He threw two one hundred dollar bills at him. He dropped his pants only to realize he had already gone on himself. He plopped on the toilet as the watery waste gushed out of his rectum. He made loud noises of relief. A few guys knocked on the door of the stall.

  "Everything all right in there man?" someone called.

  Rallo couldn't even answer. He didn't have the will to respond. The foul stench filled the bathroom, which chased every man out of there. The bathroom was vacant, besides Rallo.

  He shitted so much, that when he got up, his knees were weak.

  He reached for some tissue to wipe the sweat from dripping from his face only to realize there was no toilet paper on the roll. He realized that he had shit running down the insides of his legs and all over his brand new Gator shoes. When he walked out of the stall, he immediately headed right back in. "Oh God, God, Lord Have Mercy!! He shouted out.

  He was very confused. He walked to the mirror and threw water on his face. He had beads of uncontrollable perspiration on his face. He looked like he'd been in a fight. He walked out of the bathroom lump sided, barely standing up straight. His shirt was out of his pants with shit stains on the back. His linen suit was ruined. The first person he saw when he came outside of the bathroom was Y
arni holding another drink in her hand.

  "Want a drink?" She said as serious as a heart attack.

  He was dehydrated and thirsty. He grabbed the drink out of her hand, drank it in one gulp and handed her the glass back.

  "What happened to you? Were you in a scuffle?" Yarni asked with a sincere voice and look.

  "Naw, sick as hell," he said walking off. She walked beside him trying to show him her concern.

  "Ohhh, my God," she said while holding her nose, "You sti-iiink! Where are you going to be? I'll run and get you another drink."

  "Naw, I'm fucked up, Yarni, I had too much to drink and I didn't have nothing on my stomach. I'll catch up with you another time."

  Rallo staggered off. She watched him bypass people as they laughed and fanned him off as he finally exited the club.

  What better way to get revenge on a fly guy than humiliate him in the club? She knew the right opportunity would come one day.

  She looked out of the window and watched Rallo try to make it to his car. When she focused on the fact, that he had white or creme leather piked-out seats in his car. A childhood song popped in her head, "Diarrhea, Diarrhea, some people think it's funny, but it's really wet and runny...Diarrhea.

  Diarrhea." Then she laughed hysterically almost peeing on herself.

  That was the best laugh Yarni ever had in her life.

  YOUR WORRY, NOT MINE

  Stephanie suggested that they go to the Waffle House when they got out of the club. Yarni hadn't been out in God knows when, so there was no need to rush home. There wasn't anybody waiting for her there anyway. Everybody went to the Waffle House or Aunt Sarah's after the club. When they walked inside the Waffle House, there was a wait. They decided that they'd go to Aunt Sarah's instead. Aunt Sarah's wasn't as packed, but there was a time lag. Cara walked through Aunt Sarah's to go to the restroom, Rich noticed her. He and his homeboys already had a table.

  "Excuse me, shorty girl, weren't you with the girl with the Coogi dress on?"

  "Yeah," Cara responded.

  "Tell her Rich is over here and y'all can come sit with us. It's three of ya'll right? We can make room," Rich said as the guys with him slid over and around in the large booth. Cara told Yarni what Rich said.

  "I feel straight uncomfortable going over there to sit with them. He da one that I was telling you about from the mall today and the jumpsuit," Yarni said with a serious look on her face.

  "He seems like good people, he got a nice Presidential Rolex on." Cara said.

  "Cara, you make me sick with that always measuring a brother by what he drives or what he got." Cara ignored Yarni and asked the hostess, "What's the wait on the Pitman party?" The hostess answered, forty-five minutes.

  Cara and Stephanie looked at Yarni. Yarni smacked her lips and said, "Oookay."

  They headed over to the back of the dining room. Rich and his boys had a table and a booth. Yarni, Cara and Rich sat at the same table. Stephanie sat at the other table with the other two guys. Yarni watched Rich, still trying to figure out where she knew him from.

  Rich asked, "Why you looking at me like that? You see something you like over here?" He caught Yarni off guard.

  "No, I was actually wondering where I know you from. You look so familiar to me."

  "I do, do I?" Rich said.

  "Yeah, you do," said Yarni.

  "Oh, nigga, that's the oldest line in the book," Rich said to Yarni as he took a sip of his water. Rich and Yarni joked all night.

  Cara got a kick out of seeing Yarni laughing and actually interacting with a man. Yarni had been through so much with Bengee, that Cara was just ecstatic that her friend had a smile on her face.

  When they all finished eating, of course, Rich picked up the tab. Yarni said, "Oh I'll leave the tip." Rich shot her a look and said, "Your money is bogus when you're with me."

  He asked Yarni, "When can I see you again?"

  "Chances are, you'll see me around town." Said Yarni.

  "Look, straight up, I don't want to play your little cat and mouse game anymore. Since I first seen you at Lucky's yesterday, I thought you were beautiful. Then, I ran into you earlier at the mall. I couldn't read the strong look you had on your face when I had to beg you to accept the jumpsuit, and as persistent as you were about leaving the tip, I don't understand why you wouldn't allow a brother to be a man, to treat you like the lady you are.

  "All right now, I like you already." Cara said jokingly.

  "Long Story," Yarni simply responded, as she rolled her eyes in the top of her head.

  "Well, I've got time. I don't have to go to work tomorrow," Rich said as he went in his pocket to leave the tip.

  "Well, I don't discuss my life story with strangers. Now let's leave it at that." Yarni got up to go to the bathroom.

  Cara asked Rich, "What's your motive with my friend?"

  "My intentions are all good," said Rich while looking into Cara's eyes. He added, "I am feeling your friend."

  "Let me tell you this, my friend has been through a lot, and the drama she doesn't need or deserve. If I find out at any given time, your motives aren't good, I will personally fuck you up myself," Cara stressed as Rich chuckled. He wrote his numbers down on a piece of paper.

  "Make sure your friend gives me a call," said Rich.

  "I'll see what I can do," Cara said as she rose up from the table.

  Yarni asked, "Are y'all ready?" The girls replied "yeah."

  "Thanks for everything," Yarni said to Rich and passed him a rose. She'd seen the man selling them outside when she went to the restroom.

  "I definitely want to see you again. Let's do lunch tomorrow," Said Rich. "Your friend has my number. Excuse me," he shouted as he put his jacket on, "Ms. Preoccupied," I don't even know your name," he called from a distance.

  "It's Yarni," she shouted back at him.

  The whole way home, Cara went on and on about Rich, how he was a perfect gentleman and how he seemed so patient with a genuine kind spirit.

  "They all seem that way when you first meet them. They put on their best faces." Yarni interrupted.

  Cara was impressed with him. He had pretty white teeth. His attitude and disposition rated well above normal. Cara had gotten the scoop on him while Yarni went in the restroom. He had his own pick up and drop off business. He had purchased old houses over in the historic Churchhill area, renovated them, and then sold them at market price. Cara was convinced that this was definitely what her friend needed in her life. She knew deep in Yarni's heart, that Yarni desired companionship. Could this be?

  Cara wondered. Cara reasoned with herself, even if this wasn't permanent for Yarni, this would be a temporary relief for her.

  Cara hated the fact that Yarni was so devoted to Des. For what? Cara felt like it was a waste of time, gas, energy and putting all that wear and tear on her car. Who's to say he's even going to be with Yarni when he comes home? Who's to say that he can look pass the relationships Yarni has been in since he's been gone? Who's to say he's not just stringing Yarni along because friends get fewer and fewer the longer one is incarcerated. Who's to say that he's not using Yarni? It doesn't have to be for money that he's using her for. It could be her time; he may use her for a visit or just as a connection to the outside world.

  Who's to say that they're going to have anything in common when he comes home? What can he do for Yarni while in jail?

  Cara could never understand why Yarni felt so obligated to Des after all these years had gone by and no matter whom Yarni met and was in a relationship with, Des was always her first concern. The love that Yarni had from when she was seventeen for Des has never died or lost any sparks. Cara used to voice her opinion on the Des situation, but she respected Yarni's feelings, so she no longer brought it up. She would elaborate on it if Yarni brought up the topic. Whenever Cara would meet any suitable candidate that she thinks may be any good for Yarni, Cara would always push him at her.

  They dropped Stephanie off at home and Cara decided that she'd st
ay over Yarni's house. So Yarni wouldn't have to drive her all the way home. Besides, Cara's son was over his father's house.

  The next morning, Cara was standing over Yarni with the phone. "Yarni, wake up. The phone's for you," Cara said.

  "Is it Des?" Yarni asked partially sleep.

  "No," Cara said covering up the phone.

  "Take aaaaaaaaaa message then!" She said slowly.

  "No, get up and get the phone. Wake up!!!!" Cara said while pulling the creme and gold comforter back off of Yarni, who was curled up in a fetal position.

  "Tell them to hold on," Yarni said. Yarni got up brushed her teeth and washed her face. When she was finished, she jumped right back under the covers and took the phone from Cara.

  "Good morning," Yarni said.

  "Good afternoon, Ms. Preoccupied. How are you feeling today?" said Rich.

  "What time is it?" asked Yarni while yawning in Rich's ear.

  "Excuse me," she said in a sleepy tone.

  "It's 1:23pm," responded Rich. "I wanted to know what time you'd be up for lunch?"

  "Uuummm, I'm not going to be able to go because my friend Cara is here with me."

  "Baby, that excuse is not going to work because Cara can come right along with us. Now, what time should I pick you up?" Yarni hesitated before answering him.

  "We will meet you there. Where do you want us to meet you?

  "You can pick the place?" He told her.

  "No, this was your idea so you pick the place." She wanted to see what his taste was like.

  "How about Byram's on West Broad Street? Is 3:15 O.K.?

  "Yes, that'll be fine."

  "The address is 3215, so don't be late!!!" Yarni hung up the phone.

  Cara was dancing around Yarni, "Go Yarni. It's your birthday.

  You going to Byrams, on your first date!!!" Most men would only take their wife to Byrams for a special occasion or something of that nature." Bryams Seafood was one of her favorite places in the city to eat. It was a real classy place. She liked everything about Byrams. Byrams offered the best of everything. Their customer service was beyond reproach. They pamper one as if they are a king or queen. The food at Byram's is scrumptious. Byrams employs world-renowned chefs.